


Busty Asian - what?

by Silent_So_Long



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-23
Updated: 2011-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-24 21:30:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/268105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_So_Long/pseuds/Silent_So_Long
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean can't believe his eyes when he opens up the current issue of Busty Asian Beauties, although not for the obvious reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Busty Asian - what?

Dean settled back behind the wheel of the Impala, with a relieved sigh. He relaxed upon the comfortably worn seat, sliding down as far as he could go, limbs loose with relaxation. He watched the outside world go by for a few moments, pedestrians busily making their way through the streets and cars passing intermittently past the parking lot where Dean now sat.

The convenience store he’d so recently left had been busy, far busier than Dean had anticipated when he’d entered a mere half hour before. He sighed at the thought of the near-brawl that had almost erupted between himself and a surprisingly agile old lady over the last of the peach cobbler. Dean had, with hindsight, made the right decision by letting the old bird have the damn cobbler, although he felt the loss keenly. He had a craving for peach cobbler, even though he didn’t quite know why. Instead, he’d settled for peach pie, which settled his constant craving for pie, at least.

He turned slightly, casting his gaze towards the brown paper sack filled with groceries beside him, eyes sliding over the paper greedily. He pulled a bottle of beer from its depths, opened it and chugged half of it before returning his hand to the sack once more. He chuckled to himself, as he drew out the latest issue of Busty Asian Beauties, grin and chuckle turning lascivious, instead of amused.

Diligently, he flipped the magazine to the centre, an expectant grin held firmly upon his face. That grin soon disappeared, replaced by a look of surprised shock instead. On the centre pages, where a scantily clad and extremely busty Asian lady should have been, was the blank and familiar face of Castiel. In the photo, the angel was wearing nothing but his trenchcoat, and he was posing in a rather provocative manner for the camera. Dean didn’t know what to do with himself; after all, Castiel was not busty, nor Asian. Castiel also definitely wasn’t female. Despite this, Dean had to concede that Castiel made a rather beautiful model still, all the same.

“Cas,” he croaked, unable to tear his gaze from the rather naughty pin-up, sweat beginning to pepper his forehead.

“Yes, Dean,” Castiel said, from beside the flustered hunter, making Dean jerk away and throw the magazine clear into the air.

“Jesus,” Dean shot out in horror.

“No, I am not Jesus, Dean. I am Castiel. I thought you knew this, by now,” Castiel said, tilting his head towards Dean with a look of adorable confusion on his face.

“Never mind. You wanna tell me what the hell you’ve been doing?” Dean asked, as he slapped the magazine onto Castiel’s thin chest.

Castiel frowned and plucked the glossy pages from where Dean pinned it and flipped through the magazine, totally missing the centre pages completely.

“I have no idea why this so called magazine has any relevance to me, whatsoever,” Castiel said, with a shrug, as he turned confused eyes up to Dean’s face.

“You’re joking, right? Turn to the middle. The middle, Cas, not the end,” Dean barked, when the magazine fell open at the back pages of its own accord.

The hunter reached out and turned the magazine to the centre, forcibly, displaying the perfectly posed picture of Castiel to the light. The angel stared down at the photo with a look of bland equanimity, before suddenly, he started to smile.

“Ah, that,” he said, with an amused lilt to his voice.

“Yeah, that. Care to explain? I’d expect that sort of thing from Balthazar or maybe Gabriel, but not you,” Dean said, as he tried to glare at the angel beside him.

“Hmm? Well, my brothers have been known to pose for magazines, yes, Dean,” Castiel confirmed, with a sharp nod.

“Oh, jeez, I didn’t want to know that,” Dean said, with a shudder, and a scrubbing of his palms against his thighs.

“I was merely posing because I was asked to,” Castiel said. “Most people find angels quite attractive, Dean, which is why they wish to take photos of us.”

“Yeah, but, dude, you’re naked,” Dean said, as he stabbed at the picture with one outstretched forefinger.

“No, I am not naked. I am still wearing my trenchcoat,” Castiel corrected.

“Dammit, Cas, your bits are showing! That’s naked,” Dean snapped, turning bright red in embarrassment.

He was suddenly glad that Sam was still at Bobby’s, for his brother would find seven different ways to embarrass Dean for his school-boy like behaviour. He could hear Sam now, asking why Dean was embarrassed. It wasn’t as if Dean didn’t see himself naked every day, so why should Cas be any different?

“Ah, I understand, now,” Castiel said. “The human form is quite fascinating, Dean. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I swear you channel Spock sometimes,” Dean said, before he mimicked the Vulcan. “Fascinating.”

“I do not know Spock, Dean. I believe I have already told you that on at least seventeen different occasions,” Castiel replied, primly. “And I meant what I said, the human form is fascinating. Why hide what you have?”

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it, right?” Dean asked, as he turned his embarrassed gaze to the street outside.

“Crude way of putting it, but yes. Do you think I’ve got it, Dean?” Castiel asked, demurely, as he handed the magazine back to the hunter, still firmly open at Castiel’s photo shoot.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean said, as he slammed the magazine shut with a slap. “And yeah, I know you’re not Jesus, before you start up again.”

“You did not answer my question, Dean,” Castiel persisted.

“You don’t give up, do you? Yeah, I’ve think you’ve got it. You happy now?” Dean growled, irritably.

“Yes, I am. Thank you for the compliment. I wish to continue flaunting what I so blatantly have, and there is nothing you can do about it,” Castiel said, turning that depthless blue gaze upon Dean.

“I’ve created a monster,” Dean moaned, as his head thunked firmly into his hands.

“No, you didn’t, God created me,” Castiel said. “And so God created Jimmy Novak, and I believe my Father made him very beautiful.”

“Yeah, he’s certainly something,” Dean mumbled, from where his face was still planted in his hands.

“I have another photo shoot, tomorrow. This will be for Playgirl, I believe. I will give you a copy if you wish. I think I will be wearing nothing but a pair of bunny ears and a fluffy tail,” Castiel informed Dean, proudly.

“Really? Now, this I have to see,” Dean said, with more enthusiasm than he’d at first intended.

He cleared his throat suddenly, at the slight smile that curved the corners of Castiel’s lips, before the hunter sighed lustily.

“Sure, give me a copy if it makes you happy,” Dean said, with a weary sigh.

“I shall. I will even sign it for you, seeing as you enjoyed that photo so much,” the angel said, before disappearing promptly.

“I didn’t - “ Dean said, but it was too late to refute Castiel’s parting statement. “What the hell is going on?”

Dean sighed, before he stared at the front cover of Busty Asian Beauties once more. It was as he was blinking into the face of the pretty Asian girl on the front, that Dean realized he never asked why a guy was in a girly magazine. He frowned, before he shrugged, deciding it didn’t matter in the long run. With a sigh of defeat, Dean turned the front cover over and flipped through the pages, stopping at the centrefold with an amused, but definitely interested, smile.

~~ the end ~~ 


End file.
